pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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