Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
