So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
