I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
