You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
