She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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