we have officially lost it.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
