Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
