this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I have fence marks all over my body
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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