You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
