but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
