eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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