My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
