I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
