u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
