I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
