Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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