absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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