wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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