That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
