my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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