I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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