Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
