Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
that may or may not have been my penis.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
