You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My life is pants optional.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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