We're like a lot better than the average bears
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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