im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
