Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
