normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
