question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you traded sex for a burrito?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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