Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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