i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
