brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
