I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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