found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Holy shit dude........stairs
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
