john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
