she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
