kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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