I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
