haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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