Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
