Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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