You're my little dorito
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
