Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
