We won't sleep together?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
