can u get pink eye on your cock?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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