let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
