I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
