Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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