you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
A bitchslap is in order.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
