i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I need a beard to bite.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
