he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
