Can Purell be used as lube?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
